Healing Loneliness: Celebrants as Medicine
In the age of AI and personal brands, we find ourselves juggling authenticity and
likes. What has emerged from this chasm is known as the loneliness epidemic. But is
it really a social ailment? What if this pervasive disconnection could be remedied
with intention and attention?
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
For millennia, mankind could only survive within a group. Skill sharing and collective
strength were essential for eating, maintaining shelter, partnership, and raising
offspring. This was even true for many of our grandparents and great grandparents.
Not that long ago, the ‘silent generation’ was often born, lived, and died in the same
community. There were also brave immigrants who bonded with others of similar
heritage or socioeconomic status. In the new world, they thrived within chosen
community.
Life’s moments were witnessed and honored as a cultural norm. Religious leaders,
community elders, and loved ones held space for celebration and mourning. They
also taught us how to be one another’s keeper through connection and support.
Growing up in the Midwest, I remember the women at church ordering chicken for
funeral repasts – so much chicken! They ensured the mourners could eat well after
the burial and also take plates home. One of my favorite memories was my
debutante cotillion. Adulting became such a magical rite of passage with ball gowns
and waltzing. I cannot count how many organizations and community members
were involved in the years of training and planning – etiquette classes, resume
writing, college tours, and the formal event.
It took an entire village to elevate these milestones. But there was something even
bigger happening. In the planning, we learned the skills of connection and nurturing.
People would reach out to a grieving community member. If guests were coming
into town for the funeral, the house would be cleaned. If the person was not eating,
casseroles were brought. As a debutante, community leaders mentored me. My
church family encouraged me. And volunteers decorated the venue.
You learned how to be a part of a community by observing others. It wasn’t a class
or a video; it was life training.
In these modern times, this type of connection and nurturing has become rare.
Either we aren’t aware of other people’s lives, or we don’t know how to support
them. Many of us no longer live in the same community in which we were born. With
education, careers, travel, and technology, we have the privilege of making homes anywhere in the world. We fall in love across cultural and geopolitical lines. And we have the means to survive independently. Whether we pay someone or figure it out from a YouTube video, we can survive. But some are struggling to thrive. Without community, without connection, without social leaders to hold space – the soul is
left longing. This is the epidemic of loneliness.
THE OPPORTUNITY
And this is where celebrants come in. Before I ever knew celebrants were a thing, I
had a heart for people and their unique journeys. I’m a true extrovert – energized by
human connection. This is how I came to deeply understand that being witnessed
by others is essential. All soul’s long to mark time in the eyes of another.
Rituals and gatherings were my hobby before they became my career. I have never
needed a good reason to love on someone! These are some of my favorite ideas:
→I wrote a Kwanzaa ceremony that is still thriving over 20 years later. My son
recently launched. I gifted him his own Kwanzaa ceremony so he can
continue the tradition and make it his own.
→ My family would invite the summer solstice by shouting to the sun, “Welcome
summer!” and then enjoy a glass of orange juice with vanilla ice cream.
→ Half birthdays are real. You’ll be proud of how far you’ve already come, or
you’ll get it in gear and finish strong.
→ And in seasons of darkness, I know what it is to get a lifeline or be a lifeline.
I’ve held space for pain in wailing circles – no judgment, no fixing. We affirm
our shared humanity knowing that we’ll never be the same, but we will go on.
THE MEDICINE
I was born in the archetype of Madea – the irreverent matriarch who demands
candor and love. From this energy, I value authenticity and welcome everyone. I
believe all celebrants are this medicine.
Many of us have been informed by our own experiences, and this is priceless.
Healing loneliness requires people who will help us remember how to check on
ourselves and our community. These celebrants understand not being able to find
the words at the end of someone’s life. They know about a couple’s love being
overshadowed by the production of a wedding. And these alchemists can combine
the beauty of different religions into one ceremony. Celebrants don’t worry about
likes; they tend to the present moment. The loneliness fades as they guide us to
unity.
WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU
You are likely reading this article because connection is important to you, your life
has been touched by loneliness, or you’re curious about social change. All of these
reasons make you uniquely qualified for celebrancy. Celebrants are the medicine for
chronic disconnection. I do not see loneliness as an epidemic. I believe it is the
byproduct of modern living, technology, and lost social skills. The numbness, pain,
and isolation are very real. But being the change is also very real. And there has
never been a greater need for celebrants to help us remember the art of
connection. You are a celebrant. You are the courage to break out of rhythms that
keep you alone. You are the discipline to learn the skills of ritual and community
building – informally through personal development or formally in celebrant
training. You are the love that holds safe spaces for authenticity. You are the wisdom
that offers the world the guidance you received or needed. You are a celebrant, and
you are the medicine for loneliness.
Spirit Fire Life Ceremonies, led by Elle Sojourner, creates heart-centered ceremonies that celebrate life’s milestones. Elle weaves ritual with love, authenticity, and a touch of magic. From weddings to spiritual rite of passage, she welcomes every path, story, and soul.
Contact & Socials:
· Instagram: @ElleSojourner
· Facebook: @ElleSojourner
· YouTube: Tenfold Love Oracle
