Celebrating Friendship with the Summer Solstice

By Kristen Roderick

“One of the deepest longings of the human soul is to be seen.” 
― John O'Donohue 

I’m writing from a beautiful mountain community in the Kootenays, British Columbia, on a friendship pilgrimage with my dearest friend, Sarah. We’ve been friends for thirty years, and although we now live on opposite sides of the country, our friendship is nurtured by a diet of regular communication and actively supporting each other through life’s ups and downs. About once a year, we clear our schedules, take a break from our daily responsibilities, and spend an in-person week-long retreat together, and this time is a crucial touchstone in the weeks and months that follow.

Across the days and nights, we’ve been ritualizing our time by talking through intentional life questions, working the garden, practicing meditation, eating beautiful homegrown & homecooked food, dipping in the lake and supporting our individual writing projects. We often say that our week together is the equivalent of a year’s worth of therapy, with a real, lasting effect on the spirit, mind, and body, as well as our sense of belonging in the world. 

This year, we’re meeting around the summer solstice, which feels like the perfect time to celebrate and commemorate our friendship.

The word “solstice” comes from the Latin "solstitium," which means “the sun stood still.” It is a natural breaking point in the seasons, and in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s when the sun reaches its Northern apex in the sky. On the Solstice, the sun will pause for a period, before it reverses course, causing the days to get shorter again.

Throughout history, the solstice was a liminal time to connect with oral traditions, sharing folk tales, songs and ancestral stories, to help us make meaning of our life within the natural cycles of the seasons.

This is a beautiful time to celebrate friendship, and to pause, reflect, and take stock of who we’ve been until now and who we want to be moving forward.

This year, Sarah and I talked about what it means to cross the apex of our lives, when, now in midlife, the time we have left is shorter than the time we’ve already lived. This essential co-mingling of friendship, ritual and aging brings a kind of holiness to the mundane realities of everyday life, injecting it with meaning when it’s shared with and witnessed by a friend.

As the sun continues its path north towards the longest day, I invite you to connect with a friend, take some time together to pause and reflect, and experience the joy of truly being seen.

Rituals for the Summer Solstice

• On or around the Solstice, gather with a trusted friend or friends.
• Begin with a conscious practice, like picking vegetables from the garden, cooking / eating, doing breathwork or meditation, walking or stretching.
• Connect to the elements by dipping in the water, building a fire, or walking barefoot on the ground.
• Share your illuminations: aha moments, key insights or revelations from across the year.
• Ask each other reflective questions:
•  How are you changing?
•  Who are you becoming?
•  What are your regrets?
•  What do you need to let go of?
•  What are you grieving?
•  What is calling you?
•  What are you longing for?
•  What is most important to you now?
• Take turns sharing what you want to let go of and burn it in a fire or release it at the water.
• Gather flowers, leaves, stones, and other nature objects and make a circular mandala on the ground as an offering.
• Each write something to inspire or bless the other person and read them aloud under the sun or stars.